Bereaved by Addiction - Navigating Grief and how CADAS can Help
The 31st August is International Overdose Awareness Day and at CADAS this (through lived experience) is very close to our hearts. This month we want to discuss the challenges faced by those who lose a loved one to addiction and shine a spotlight on our Bereaved by Addiction service which provides vital support.
Losing someone we love is one of the hardest experiences life can bring. Grief conjures all sorts of difficult emotions and when that grief is connected to addiction, these emotions can be even more complex and difficult to navigate. At CADAS, we understand and we can help.
With the help of Claire, CADAS Recovery Coach Plus, let’s talk about how someone might feel if they are bereaved by addiction, how they can work through these feelings and why the support CADAS provides is so important.
What are some of the feelings people experience when they are bereaved by addiction?
“As you would imagine there are a range of feelings that people experience when they are bereaved by addiction. Here are some of the feelings that people have expressed: Shock, disbelief, guilt (wondering if they could have done more to prevent their loved one’s death), anger, feeling flat, tired, exhausted, sad, upset, tearful, distressed, low in mood, depressed, stressed, anxious, unsettled, lonely, isolated, up and down, heartbroken, overwhelmed, feeling like a burden, feeling less tolerant and impatient towards others.”
- Claire, CADAS Recovery Coach Plus
Why are feelings so complex when someone is bereaved by addiction?
When someone is struggling with addiction, this rarely affects just the individual. The ripple effect created can impact family and friends immensely. Those who love someone in addiction can experience grief even when the loved one is here because they are grieving for the person they once were. This often happens in silence and sadly in fear of stigma and judgement. When someone dies from addiction, for many this silent suffering can continue.
The grief someone experiences when they are bereaved by addiction is multi-faceted and includes feelings that are difficult to explain – anger, guilt, relief. This can be isolating and make it even more difficult to talk about.
What can help to work through these feelings?
“Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. Give yourself time to grieve when you feel ready and at your own pace. There is no right way to grieve or timescale in which to do it. Give yourself time and permission to cry, have a rest or do whatever you need to take care of yourself. Accept that some days might be better than others whilst some days may be worse than others. Everyone’s experience of grief and being bereaved by addiction is unique.”
- Claire, CADAS Recovery Coach Plus
Furthermore, evidence suggests that following these 5 steps can improve your mental health and wellbeing (Source: NHS):
Connecting with others: Quality time with family and friends, talking without distractions like TV, using technology in a positive way to stay in contact with loved ones.
Be physically active: Try running or other aerobic exercise to improve fitness and keep you moving alongside strength training. Try a new sport and spend time with others or use exercise as an opportunity to give your mind a rest.
Learn new skills: Learn to cook different recipes, try a new hobby, start a DIY project or sign up to a new course. Do something you enjoy and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Give to others: Practice acts of kindness, be a support to friends, family or colleagues or volunteer in your community.
Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness): Focus on the world around you in the present moment as well as your own thoughts and feelings. This can help us to appreciate little things and have a greater understanding of ourselves.
Other things that can help include:
Talking with a trusted friend or family member
Talking to a recovery coach at CADAS
Talking in a CADAS group with people who have similar lived experience
Creating a memory box
Setting goals and plans for each day to provide structure and purpose
Painting, drawing or writing down feelings in a journal
Focusing on self-care
Relaxation and meditation
Spending time outside in nature
Taking time out to recharge. Simply watching a film or paying a video game can give your mind a rest
It’s important to remember that there is no one size fits all when it comes to processing grief. Everyone’s journey is different.
How does CADAS support people bereaved by addiction?
Our Bereaved by Addiction service includes:
1-1 sessions with a recovery coach: Providing a non-judgmental space to express thoughts and feeling, remember their loved one and talk about the impact of grief.
Peer support groups: A chance to find solace in sharing and listening to people with similar lived experiences.
CADAS memory boxes: These contain certain items which might help you to take some time for self-care but also leave enough space for you to add your own items whether that be something to remind you of your loved one or some personal items to bring you some comfort.
“Without exception, everyone who has accessed Bereaved by Addiction support at CADAS has expressed how helpful it has been to have the opportunity to talk about their loved ones, to remember them and to talk about the impact that being bereaved by addiction has had upon them. They have all appreciated the time and support provided.”
- Claire, CADAS Recovery Coach Plus
If you have been bereaved by addiction, you are not alone. At CADAS, we understand and we can help.
Helpline: 0800 254 5658 (available on weekdays 9-5)
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