Stories of Most Significant Change

Please tell us about why you began working with CADAS

Our midwife put us in touch with Angie at CADAS before my son was born. Me and his mother were working on reduction plans for prescription meds and methadone for me, but we didn’t have any other support.

Please tell us about what you do with CADAS

You visited us at home and helped to pay for a new washer and drier for us.

You were always there at the end of the phone when we moved to the parent/baby unit and you’ve visited me since I’ve been home with my son.

What has been the most significant change for you because of working with CADAS?

You’ve helped me to trust people better. You’ve always been there to talk to and you’ve never judged, you let me talk things through without interrupting.

I haven’t worked with a lot of people in the past but you helped me to feel that I can and that it’s nothing to be scared of.

I’m raising my son alone now and all of the help I have received has helped us to be where we are, in a lovely home, together.

How did working with CADAS help to bring about this change? What happened?

You helped a lot with what I was going through at the time, you allowed me to vent, which cleared my head and helped me to be a better, calmer dad to my son.

You gave me different opinions on things, which helped me to see the bigger picture and take other people’s opinions into account.

Why was this change significant for you?

Working with you, as well as with other agencies, has helped me to be a better dad, to put my son’s needs first and to shut out all of the noise.

When I was so far away from home, it was nice to know that you were just a phone call away and that you would answer when I called. It made me feel less lonely and less far away from my home town, helping me to feel confident that I would return home soon and be able to bring my son with me.

What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

The help and support everyone has given us has came together to the happy ending we now have: our own, lovely home with my son by my side.

You’ve gave me information on groups I can go to as well to help me make friends locally who will be good for me where my son can make friends too and learn and play.

What has been the most significant change for you from attending CADAS?

Through CADAS support I was introduced to mindfulness, something I’d never heard of before and something I didn’t think I’d ever get into. It helped me learn a whole new way of calming my anxiety, without pills or even seeing a doctor.

 

What happened – Where? When? Who was involved?

Through doing The Decider Skills with Angie, I learned about mindfulness and how it can help to calm you down and help with my anxiety.

 

I thought I’d give it a go as Angie kept telling me to keep an open mind about things.

 

I tried it when I was walking the dogs and I fell in love with connecting with nature while practicing mindfulness. I sit down and touch and smell the grass, I stroke and hug the trees, I feel the textures of the church walls whilst breathing and taking in everything around me.

 

Why was this change significant for you?

Doing mindfulness lifts my spirits and helps to calm my anxiety. It really seems to calm me when I feel like my anxiety is too much to cope with.

 

It boosted my confidence and I started to go out of the house more.

 

My kids have noticed and say I’m not shouting as much, I’m talking more calmly and not flying off the handle as easily. We’re talking more and I think we’re getting closer as a family.

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What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

It’s helped me learn to stop and take a step back in situations rather than just charging in, as I’ve always been a hot head. It’s prevented arguments and I want to help my kids to learn this too, so much sooner than I did.

 

I’m not proud of this but I’ve recently relapsed and I’ve been through some hard times lately, but just talking about this has made me feel positive and reminded me just how much mindfulness and the skills I’ve learned can help me. I’m going to go for a walk today and re-connect with nature.

What has been the most significant change for you from attending CADAS?

Before working with CADAS I was just fighting on my own to get my kids back.

 

CADAS helped me to move forward with my life, to pick my life back up and do the right thing for me and my kids.

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What happened – Where? When? Who was involved?

After proving to our social worker and court that I had made changes and stopped drinking completely, my son who had been living with his gran for the last year plus, came back to live with me. Prior to that, nothing was working – I was drinking and wasn’t being open about it.

 

My son’s behaviour got worse when all of this was going on which affected his schoolwork, the clubs he went to and his relationships with his family.

 

I’ve now been sober for over a year and I now see alcohol so differently. I no longer think I need to drink to enjoy myself.

 

Working with CADAS they have supported both me and my family and helped us to work together, to talk to one another and helped us get close which has helped my son to feel more settled and he’s now behaving so much better too.

 

Why was this change significant for you?

My son belongs with me. As does my other son whose dad won’t let me see him.

 

Drinking stops you from seeing things as they should be, it masks everything. I was in a relationship I didn’t want to be in, but drink dulled my senses and made it tolerable.

 

I’m now sober and love spending time with my son. I feel like I’m living and I’m well on my way to get back to the old me.

 

What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

It’s helped massively. My son would have went into care if I didn’t change.

 

I’ll be able to engage with my kids on a daily basis and appreciate them. I don’t remember a lot of my younger son’s life due to drink.

 

Even the little things like going to a christening. I now play with my son rather than sending him away while I drank and socialised.

 

The changes I’ve made will help me to see my younger son again and bring him back into our family.

Background:

I started taking drugs in a really low point in my life, my kids had been taken from me and I didn’t see much point in anything anymore.

When I got pregnant again I started to think that things could get better.

 

What has been the most significant change for you from attending CADAS?

CADAS helped me make the changes I needed to.

Having my daughter made me want to change, but your help made sure I didn’t go back to that dark place, which could have easily happened.

 

The biggest thing is that we can be a family now and I’m here for my daughter, in every way possible. I couldn’t lose another child so I knew I had to change.

 

What happened – Where? When? Who was involved?

I know I’m a different person now, but I’m a better person and everyone else is seeing that too.

 

I now have different ways to manage how I’m feeling and I’m able to be a mother to my child.

 

You’ve helped me to make sure I keep going in this way and don’t take a step backwards.

 

I thought I’d struggle more than I have, but I think that’s the difference you all make, I wasn’t on my own and you helped more than I could have imagined.

 

Why was this change significant for you?

I wanted to show that I could do things different, and I have. Social are no longer involved and soon it’ll just be us, our happy little family. People are not worried about me anymore and can see how far I’ve come.

 

We want our daughter to grow up knowing the right way to do things, not in an angry house and not being anything like how I used to be.

 

What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

I’m not on self-destruct anymore and now I know that drugs are bad.

Before my daughter I didn’t think there was any point. But now I have a purpose and don’t want to mess that up in any way.

What has been the most significant change for you from attending CADAS?

CADAS has helped me to become much more aware of myself, to recognise that my actions have consequences and has helped me to change my mindset completely.

 

I was pregnant with my daughter when CADAS started working with me and Angie has helped me to be a much better mum, but also this support has benefited my husband and now our daughter too.

 

What happened – Where? When? Who was involved?

Through the skills Angie taught me and even all of the conversations we had, I feel like a different person. Even when I was pregnant, it helped me to be calmer and make better choices for me and my baby.

 

Angie came to see me at home and was there for me, when in a way that others weren’t.

 

It’s helped me to think more clearly, to look at a situation more, to reflect and be more self-aware. Rather than panicking I just say “that’s the way it is”.

 

Why was this change significant for you?

I’ve grown so much – drink is way down my list of priorities now, when before it was very high.

 

I now see the impact of my emotions and actions which can be devastating. I can see the difference in me, in the way that I am and do things. I’m now able to stop and think before I speak and act, and I know to acknowledge the consequences of my actions.

 

I’ve reassessed the whole situation at a calmer level which is making me a good mum.

 

What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

It’s improved my life massively.

I’m calmer, more sensible and better mentally. It’s helped me hugely with my anxiety, reduced my panic attacks and helped me to know that I can cope.

 

I have such a good hold now, a mental block where I just immediately calm myself. It’s put everything into perspective now and rather than panicking I think of ways to resolve the situation and rationalise it.

 

It’s helped me to be the best mum I can be for my daughter and to help her to grow and learn all of the important life lessons I’ve been helped to learn.

 

I used to feel that I needed alcohol in my life, but now I know that I don’t.

Background:

I started working with CADAS after issues in our relationship started to affect the kids. Due to our drinking and arguments, the kids were taken from us for a while and I knew we had to change.

 

 

What has been the most significant change for you from attending CADAS?

I’ve never talked to anyone like this before and by opening up I’ve been able to change so much as a person and a dad.

 

You helped me to stop drinking and to see the world in a better way, not just for me but for our kids too.

 

 

What happened – Where? When? Who was involved?

With your help I’ve learned to cope better. I’m now calmer and I can handle things better.

I’m not getting stressed out with things and we’re not arguing because we’re not drinking.

 

You came into our home and helped me when I didn’t want to work with anyone else.

 

 

 

Why was this change significant for you?

I now know that less stress = less arguments. We can talk about things now, calmly and see each other’s point of view.

 

We’re making a better, healthier environment at home where the kids are happier and can see us being happier and spending time together, making memories.

 

What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

We’re a much happier family now.

We want to teach the kids not to do what we done and not to get as stressed. We want to help teach them what to do when it’s their time and learn them through what we do, but in a good way.

Background:

We’d been drinking too much a using it as a way to block things out. It resulted in the kids being taken away from us, only for a short time but that was the shock we needed.

 

We weren’t sure about you when you first started coming to see us, but you’ve turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened.

 

What has been the most significant change for you from attending CADAS?

We no longer drink any alcohol and our lives have changed so much, for the better.

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Our drinking needed to stop. Things wouldn’t have changed if we hadn’t changed.

 

What happened – Where? When? Who was involved?

We now know that we used drink when things were hard. Drink has been such a big part of my life, since I was 13 years old. I’ve been homeless and had to look after myself and deal with what I’ve been through in life.

 

When we drank together, we were feeling p’d off with each other and arguing.

 

Why was this change significant for you?

I know that I would have lost my kids any other way, and I wouldn’t have stopped drinking. I needed a wake-up call and I listened to it.

 

Drink has always been my way of coping and I didn’t know that I could do anything else.

 

You’ve helped us to learn different, better ways to do things and we’re so much happier as a family as a result. We’re now working together more, we help each other out and work together as a family.

 

What difference has it made already/will it make in the future?

We can now enjoy the time to come, which we may not have been able to do if we hadn’t changed. We can teach our kids that they don’t need alcohol as part of their daily routine, something that I wish I’d had. Then as they get older, they can teach their kids the same and we can pass on this new, better and healthier way of living.